I havent posted anything on here in a while. But I feel the need to vent because so much has even going through my mind lately. Recently I’ve been mourning the loss of my
Mother all over again, idk why but I always get these times where I just remember and think and become depressed about it. Jake is trying to e there for me and I just keep pushing Him away because I’m so defensive when it comes to that topic and I realize it’s not fair to him. I love him and the last think I wanna do is push him away. We’ve been fighting a lot lately and I feel like I’ve been taking all of this out on him. I’m really sorry and I know I hVe to change my ways because it’s something mentally with myself. I just wanna get through this and let it go. I know Ita never going to go away but I know I need to put her to rest. And I havnt done that. Maybe of I go visit her grave, considering I havnt been there since we buried her. Maybe if I do that it can give me some closure and I can come to peace with this whole thing.i have a lot to work on with myself so I don’t end up like my dad. Blah okay I’m done